I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Randomize
