There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Randomize
