and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Randomize
