so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Randomize
