You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Randomize
