Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Randomize
