My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Randomize
