I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
