3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
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