I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
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