The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
