I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
