If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
