Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
