So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
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