whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
