That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
dude i'm inner monologue high
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
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