Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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