just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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