There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
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