On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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