Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
