yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Randomize
