I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
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