hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
