I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
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