vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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