I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
