I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
