That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize
