lets start a swedish sibling band together
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
