If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
