Who did Billy Mays play for?
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
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