i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize