I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
