Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
She needs sedatives and a leash
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
