capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize