You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
