can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I'm getting married
To pizza
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
