You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
