fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
