Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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