I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Randomize
