Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I'm like, not good at living.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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