its not stalking. its research.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
