Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
