He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I need water and some morals
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
