i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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