Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
