Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
