My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
