Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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