you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
We talked him into tasing himself.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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