I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
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