bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
