Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Come share oat with me in your robe
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
Randomize
