you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
