Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
