saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Randomize
