Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
