He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Randomize
