Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Randomize
