Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
