Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
