Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
